No, it's not the PMS you're all thinking about. This one's called Permanent Mood Swings.
Which explains the photo.
I can have a positive outlook on life, and the next day it will just die away.
I need to start packing my room. It's probably the only reason why I can explain all the lack of motivation to do anything.
I have an untuned piano that I touch only once in awhile.
I have a guitar that I use only to tune it when it goes out of tune.
I have a family that I ignore unknowingly with all the work in school, but also because of all the things I can do on the computer.
I have a weight problem that I said i would solve by hitting the gym and running regularly.
I have an emotional attachment that is now a detachment.
I have people I can talk to, but I don't.
I have commitments that I don't commit to.
Is that okay?
It's been so long. Too long, in fact. I needed that reprimanding first thing in the morning during my piano lesson. I've been the same for too long. Why? I don't know. I guess i'm too soft. This 'soft' means, in layman terms, lazy.
It's amazing how i faced that situation, in fact, more god-like than any other situation i would have faced. But still, a part of me is unwilling. Unwilling to do school work. Unwilling to do anything. Unwilling to even step out of the house and buy dinner for me and my grandma, which i still did though. That must mean i haven't given up on myself.
But neither have i given up on you.
It may be a new year,
but in my mind you're still here.
I wrote a story, and if i recall,a poem;
but still we broke like styrofoam.
I guess i'm going to lie to myself now,
that i broke the 'i love you forever' vow.
So this is where i stop the emo,
I'm going to bed after this milk and oreo.
I don't think my life is in a mess, but it definitely feels like it. If anybody thinks that poly is relaxing, think again. It's not just about the morning classes, the super long lunch queue, no place to sit during meals [it's okay during MSTs (mid-semester tests) because i don't have exams], the class politics, the tension and the conflict; I guess, in a nutshell, when everything goes wrong, it goes wrong in a chain reaction.
I'm feeling so sleepy everyday, no matter how much i sleep. How am i supposed to enjoy this holiday when i have so much work to do?
As if it's not emotionally challenging enough, it's also spiritually challenging.
At this rate, i'll probably drop out of school.
For me, that was yesterday. Arrived at Malacca around 10pm with SoloZ and his friend Shawn. We got scammed! A bus that we were told which was going to Malacca was actually heading for KL! A normal human reaction would be frustration, or anxiety. Luckily i didn't really have the elements of either. Met quite alot of new people, made quite alot of new friends. But what am i talking about? This is day 1! Many more things await me as i embrace it full frontal. Will update more tomorrow, as my hotel has no internet; only the event area has internet.
Ciao people!
The title says it all. Yes, I am a huge Coldplay fan. Got my very first guitar, but still struggling to pick up strumming, technique and chords.
Quote from a friend: "Moping period is over. Get a life dude!"
I've been telling the world i want to up my game, but i think i have been too hard on myself. Now that I think about it, i do regard myself as a robot; day after day of no sleep to do work or personal interests.
The feeling sucks doesn't it? Being put up so high just to be let down all the way again. Success is falling 7 times and standing up 8. But i do suppose it isn't easy to stand. The natural human behaviour is to stay in our comfort zones.
That's probably why i haven't been feeling comfortable at all. Thank God for my immune system though, I haven't fell sick. Yet.
I need to learn to manage my time better.
Thank you Soloz, i was supposed to replace Roy but i went there and found Roy. Nonetheless you took me out of a 6pm lecture at 4.30pm, and i got to see the top gamers in action again. :p
Another Thank you goes to my dad, who helped warm up the food for me last night when i reached home late. Also, he gave me 300$ as my budget to get my guitar on Thursday with Lucas. Awesome! I can't wait.
In terms of Music, I have to up my game as well. Skipping grade 7 for grade 8, which is a huge jump for someone who passed grade 6 on the second try.
One last thank you to Julia, who helped me up my confidence for my piano, if you didn't already know that. How coincidental that we both failed grade 6. :p
Enough of the failing, enough of the falling.
I'm picking myself up because nobody else has the pencil to continue my life drawing.
Just let me enjoy the breeze, because i don't care if i freeze.
Goodnight! :Z
As you can tell from the title, I am replacing Roy in a compy(competition) later, all thanks to SoloZ. This is my first exposure to the competition scene, even if it's just a mini one in SP thanks to DMIT.
Speaking of replacements, do you think it is easy to replace someone in your life? I doubt so. But we all still have to try. Because like i said, They may not be the perfect girl or guy, but its definintely worth one more try.
I should replace the laziness i have for enthusiasm.
Ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you.
I force myself to get up everyday, i force myself to live with a smile and say everything is okay;
I force myself to do what i cannot, i force myself to being who i am not.
Why?
Honestly, i have no idea.
I have no idea why i am so stoned out (or zoned out) lately, but it's definitely taking a toll on me. I guess i really need some burdens before i can forget what happened. Thankfully, my friend sent me the whole album of Owl City - Ocean Eyes. I guess it's pretty uplifting.
Challenge yourself, and when you know you've come further than you've ever been at that point of time, the sense of satisfaction will be so immense. I suppose that is what i'm doing; upgrading myself, improving myself, but at the same time enjoying the company of those around you.
Friends are like patches of sunlight through this valley of mountains we call Life.
I like this picture i found on icanhascheezburger.com, so with this i shall end my post here and wish everybody who's taking a major exam good luck!
C'est la vie. Such is Life.
I think i'm a person who thinks alot, and maybe sometimes too inappropriately. I guess i'm just stuck in this bottomless pit. But still i'm pressing my hands and feet against the walls, slowly climbing up.
But, i have thought things through, and i cannot let every single setback put me back in my comfort zone. I have to keep on, keeping on.
